I love coming to the project because I’m understood but it’s only recently I’ve learnt this.
Although my family try to be supportive they just don’t get it, during a discussion around robin William’s death my own family were saying he was selfish to do that and had no sympathy towards what he had been going through, saying it was the drink and the drugs, they couldn’t see that he was struggling and looking for relief.
I have been in that low mind set and almost lost my life several times I cannot think what they were thinking when I was in that position ?
So I struggle to face the world. some days I can put in my mask and think no I will face it but others I’m stuck in my bed and cannot get out, it’s a battle going on in my head that I feel I’m not going to win today. Mainly because I am scared of what people may think, what they may do and because I don’t know what to do in this situation, and I find my self being told off by one member being told to grow up and another forcing me into something I am so scared of doing.
The project is brilliant I feel safe with the people around me I enjoy coming and know that I can talk to people who understand or will at least empathise with what I’m going through.